- Hide menu

Heterogeneous Spectacles

Nadar (Cimetière du Père-Lachaise)

.

But do not all these miracles [the steam engine, the electric light, the telephone, the phonograph, the radio, bacteriology, anesthesiology, psychophysiology] pale when compared to the most astonishing and disturbing one of all, that one which seems finally to endow man himself with the divine power of creation: the power to give physical form to the insubstantial image that vanishes as soon as it is perceived, leaving no shadow in the mirror, no ripple on the surface of the water? (1900)
Nadar

Nadar. Gaspard-Félix Tournachon. 1820 to 1910. Ninety years. The bastard did everything.

Photographer, caricaturist, journalist, novelist, balloonist. Pick a lane? Fuck that. He did it all.

Portraits. That’s what he’s known for. Shot everyone: Baudelaire, George Sand, Sarah Bernhardt, Dumas, Berlioz. All the artists and writers and actors of 19th century Paris came to his studio. He didn’t just take their picture. He captured something. Made them look human and iconic at the same time.

First photographer to shoot from a hot air balloon. Aerial photography before anyone knew what that was. Built his own balloon…  Le Géant, The Giant. Thing was massive. Took it up, looked down, saw Paris from above, took pictures.

First to photograph the Paris catacombs and sewers using artificial light. Down in the tunnels with the bones and the rats and the shit, dragging equipment, making it work. Nobody else was doing that.

1874: his studio at 35 Boulevard des Capucines hosts the first Impressionist exhibition. Monet, Renoir, Degas, all of them. They couldn’t get a gallery, so Nadar gave them space. Changed art history in his fucking photography studio.

Jules Verne based a character on him. That’s how larger-than-life this guy was.

Lived to 89. Died in 1910, having seen it all, done it all, photographed it all.

He probably knew half the people he’s buried with. Photographed most of them.

Ninety years. Most people don’t do in ninety years what he did in ten.

Shot on infrared film in Père Lachaise Cemetery. Signed Limited Edition 17” x11” print of 10; stamped on verso. Professional black & white printing on Hahnemühle fibre-based Matt paper.

Marguerite Duras (Cimetière du Montparnasse)

.

Ce qui remplit le temps c’est vraiment de le perdre.
The best way to fill time is to waste it.
Marguerite Duras, Wasting Time, from Practicalities, 1987 (trans. 1990)

Born Marguerite Donnadieu in Saigon, 1914. French Indochina. Colonial Vietnam. Grew up poor, her mother struggling to keep a farm that kept flooding, losing everything to the Pacific and corrupt colonial officials.

The Lover. 1984. That’s the one everyone knows. Fifteen-year-old girl, older Chinese man. Affair in 1920s Saigon. Her family desperate for money, him from wealth. Sex and colonialism and poverty and desire all tangled up. She was seventy when she wrote it. Stripped it down, made it raw. Won the Prix Goncourt.

But that’s late. Before that, decades of writing. Novels, plays, screenplays. Hiroshima Mon Amour, 1959. Alain Resnais directed, she wrote it. A French actress and a Japanese architect. Memory, trauma, the bomb, impossible love. One of the greatest films ever made.

Resistance fighter during World War II. Communist Party member until they kicked her out in 1950 for being too difficult. Always too difficult.

Experimental writer. Minimalist. Repetitive. Obsessed with desire, memory, loss, silence. Her sentences stripped down like bones.

Alcoholic. Destroyed herself with it. Nearly died multiple times. Kept writing through it, about it.

Everything stripped away except what hurts.

Shot on infrared film in Cimetière du Montparnasse. Signed Limited Edition 11” x17” print of 10; stamped on verso. Professional black & white printing on Hahnemühle fibre-based Matt paper.

CELEBRATION OF ALONZO KING & ZAKIR HUSSAIN

I’ve been in rooms where beauty and horror held hands and French-kissed. But you know those nights, the ones that grab you by the throat and won’t let go? The ones where you’re sitting there in the dark and something happens that makes you forget you’re supposed to be the asshole taking photos?

The dancers moved like Hussain’s fingers were puppeteering their souls. I’m not waxing poetic here, I mean it literally looked like the sound was moving them, like rhythm had become gravity and they were falling up. Hussain sat there, hands a blur, pulling sounds out of those drums that I didn’t know existed. Sounds that felt like they were coming from inside your own chest.

Meanwhile Alonzo’s choreography… bodies doing things bodies shouldn’t do. Defying physics like physics owed them money.

I took a lot of photos for LINES over the years. Probably too many. But this one from, that night, this one is maybe my favorite of anything I’ve ever shot for them. Maybe my favorite period. It captures… something. I’m not sure if anyone else sees this photo the way I see it. Feel it. I don’t know if what I see is really there or if it’s just my imagination spooning my memories. If my memories are cracking open meanings that don’t exist for anyone else. If I’m seeing ghosts because I need to see ghosts.

You know what? Fuck it. Maybe it doesn’t matter.

This was a retrospective, a “look what we built” kind of evening. Twenty years of two masters from completely different worlds pushing each other, challenging each other, making something that belonged to neither tradition completely and somehow belonged to both entirely.

I talked with Zakir afterwards. He was always generous and warm. You shoot the shit, you say the things you say. You never think it’s the last time. You never think: remember this, remember his face, remember the sound of his laugh. You just assume there’s always going to be a next time.

Addendum added December 24, 2024

A little over a year later they’d announced Scheherazade is coming back. The collaboration remounted in the Spring.  The thing they’d built together. And now Zakir is gone.

Dead.

Some collaborations, you realize way too fucking late, were miracles. Were lightning strikes. Were things you witnessed and somehow, stupidly, took for granted because you thought beauty like that was reproducible. Renewable.

It’s not.

Adji Cissoko, LINES Ballet, Alonzo King and Zakir Hussain collaboration

Alonzo King LINES Ballet

Celebration of Alonzo King & Zakir Hussain.  Hussain’s mastery of classical Indian percussion brought him a Grammy award and worldwide renown. His collaborations with Alonzo King renew classical forms, holding respect for the old and ushering in the new with a keen eye for innovation.

Brassaï (Cimetière du Montparnasse)

.

My images were surreal simply in the sense that my vision brought out the fantastic dimension of reality. My only aim was to express reality, for there is nothing more surreal than reality itself. If reality fails to fill us with wonder, it is because we have fallen into the habit of seeing it as ordinary.
Brassaï, Brassai, Paris

Born Gyula Halász in Transylvania, 1899. Came to Paris in the 1920s and fell in love with the city at night.

Not the Paris of postcards and tourists. The real Paris. After dark. The streets, the alleys, the brothels, the opium dens, the artists’ studios, the lovers in doorways, the prostitutes waiting under street lamps. The stuff respectable people pretended didn’t exist.

He taught himself photography to capture it. Borrowed a camera, hit the streets after midnight. Paris de Nuit, Paris by Night, published in 1933. Changed everything. Nobody was photographing like this. The graffiti, the working girls, the lovers, the late-night cafés. Foggy streets. Gas lamps. The city breathing.

Friends with Picasso. Henry Miller wrote about him, called him “the eye of Paris.” That’s what he was. He saw what everyone else walked past.

Didn’t just shoot the gutter. Photographed high society too, artists, writers, the ballet. But it’s the night work that matters. The photographs that showed Paris wasn’t just the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre. It was flesh and loneliness and desire and survival.

The guy who made art out of darkness, who loved the city most people only saw in daylight. Gone in 1984.

He saw Paris the way it actually was. Dirty, beautiful, alive.

Shot on infrared film in Cimetière du Montparnasse. Signed Limited Edition 11” x17” print of 10; stamped on verso. Professional black & white printing on Hahnemühle fibre-based Matt paper.

William Saroyan

Saroyan wrote about this place. The Armenian families, the immigrant hustle, the particular loneliness and joy of Central Valley life. He got it. That beautiful, messy, complicated thing about America that most writers either romanticize into oblivion or treat like a sociology report. Saroyan just… told the truth. With style.

My partner Lindsey’s family comes from here. Her grandfather Irwin made packing crates for farmers, honest work, the kind that built this valley one box at a time. One day, Saroyan’s mother asked Irwin for a favor: give her boy a ride back to town. Sure, Irwin said. Why not?  So Saroyan gets in. They drive. And when they get to town, Saroyan asks to be dropped off at the local brothel.

That’s the whole story. That’s the whole writer, really, the guy who won a Pulitzer Prize and told them to shove it because “commerce should not judge the arts,” then spent the afternoon at a whorehouse. The guy who wrote about grace and desperation with equal tenderness.

Because Saroyan understood something essential: we’re all just trying to make sense of this beautiful, heartbreaking mess. And sometimes, that’s enough. Sometimes, that’s everything

William Saroyan, Grave, Fresno

Everything is changed for you. But it is still the same, too. The loneliness you feel has come to you because you are no longer a child. But the world has always been full of that loneliness.
William Saroyan, The Human Comedy

Samuel Beckett (Cimetière du Montparnasse)

Samuel Beckett gravesite, Samuel Beckett tomb

Pozzo: (suddenly furious). Have you not done tormenting me with your accursed time! It’s abominable! When! When! One day, is that not enough for you, one day he went dumb, one day I went blind, one day we’ll go deaf, one day we were born, one day we shall die, the same day, the same second, is that not enough for you? (Calmer.) They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams an instant, then it’s night once more.
Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot, 1952

The bleakest bastard who ever put pen to paper, and somehow, impossibly, funny.

Waiting for Godot, 1953. Two guys waiting for someone who never comes. That’s it. That’s the play. Nothing happens. Twice. It changed theatre forever. Absurdism. Existentialism. The meaninglessness of existence laid bare on a stage with minimal props and maximum despair.

EndgameKrapp’s Last TapeHappy Daysa woman buried up to her waist in dirt, then up to her neck, still talking, still going on. That’s life, according to Beckett. We keep talking, keep waiting, keep going even when there’s no point.

Minimalist. Every word mattered. Cut everything that wasn’t essential. Silence was part of the language. Pauses meant something.

Lived in Paris most of his life. Wrote in French first, then translated himself into English. Why? Control. Precision. The discipline of working in a second language forced him to strip everything down even further.

World War II: Resistance fighter. Literally. Worked for the French Resistance, barely escaped the Gestapo. After the war, didn’t talk about it much. Just went back to writing about nothingness.

1969: won the Nobel Prize. Didn’t go to the ceremony. Sent his publisher instead. Fame made him uncomfortable.

I met him once in Paris with my father at his apartment. I was eight, maybe nine.  He was kind. Funny. Charming, even. Talked to me like I was an actual person, not just some kid to be tolerated. The man who wrote about despair had warmth.

That encounter changed how I later read his work.  I saw the Laurel and Hardy in it. The Buster Keaton. The physical comedy, the pratfalls, the ridiculous repetition. It’s not just despair, it’s absurd, and absurd is funny. The two tramps in Godot are vaudeville performers stuck in an existential nightmare. That’s the point.

And here’s what stuck with me: as an adult and now father, I try to listen to kids. Pay attention. Treat them with the same respect he showed me that day. Because he didn’t have to. He could’ve brushed me off, ignored me, done the polite nod and moved on. He didn’t.

 

Shot on infrared film in Cimetière du Montparnasse. Signed Limited Edition 11” x17” print of 10; stamped on verso. Professional black & white printing on Hahnemühle fibre-based Matt paper.

Euripides Enclose the Divine

euripides, enclose the divine, classical drama, tragedy, theater bay area

The Fragment: What house shaped by builders could enclose the divine form within its enfolding walls?

So here’s the thing about garbage. About the stuff we leave on sidewalks. That dollhouse sitting on the curb, some kid’s entire universe, once upon a time. Rooms where dolls had dinner parties and tucked themselves into beds the size of matchboxes. Where everything was perfect and miniature and controllable.

And now? Now it’s on the pavement. Waiting for the truck. Waiting to become nothing.

We discard shit constantly. Furniture, relationships, dreams, gods. Especially gods. We’re spectacular at throwing away the things we used to worship.

But Euripides, that magnificent bastard, he knew exactly what question to ask: “What house shaped by builders could enclose the divine form within its enfolding walls?”

Look at that dollhouse. Really look at it. Up in the attic, three women. Figures clustered together in that cramped space under the roof, balancing themselves on the wobbly framing of this whole broken structure. They’re not trapped up there. They climbed up there. They chose the highest point, the most precarious perch, the space that was never meant to be the main stage.

Three women. Maybe they’re just dolls. Or maybe they’re the Moirai. The Fates. Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos. The spinners of destiny, hanging out in a discarded dollhouse attic in Santa Cruz, still doing their work after everyone stopped believing in them. Still spinning, measuring, cutting the threads of human lives from their wobbling perch above the world.

Think about it. Where else would the Fates end up in our disposable culture? Not in some grand temple. Not on Olympus. In the attic of a broken dollhouse on a curb. Still together. Still working. Still deciding who lives and who dies and how long each thread runs, from the most unstable room in the most discarded structure imaginable.

And down on the lower floor, those two-dimensional cutout characters. Flat. Literally flat. Not even pretending to be three-dimensional like the women above. Just paper-thin representations of human forms going through the motions of whatever play they were designed for. Living their lives as pure surface, no depth, no interior. Safe in their prescribed rooms. Stable. Dead. Unaware that above them, three women are literally controlling the universe.

Here’s what strikes me: The three-dimensional women took the attic. The unstable space. The room that’s all angles and wobbling beams and potential collapse. While the flat characters stay below in their neat little rooms with their neat little lives, the Fates above are doing the real work. They’re taking a risk. They’re living on shaky ground. They’re finding freedom in the margins while they measure out destinies.

Where’s the divine in this? Right there. In those three figures. In the possibility that the Moirai never left, they just got pushed to the attic. In the refusal to stay on the ground floor where everything is predetermined and two-dimensional. The divine is in the three women balancing on broken beams, creating their own geometry, their own community, their own precarious heaven in a space that was never supposed to matter, still spinning the threads that control everything below.

The two-dimensional figures on the main floor don’t even know what’s above them. They’re playing it safe. They’re staying in their lanes. They’re performing the roles that got built into them. But those three women in the attic? They’re alive. They’re three-dimensional in a structure that’s falling apart, and they don’t give a damn. They’re not waiting for stability. They’re not waiting for permission. They’re just up there, together, balancing on the wobble, spinning fate itself.

We build these containers. These houses. These lives. We assign rooms and roles and proper places for proper things. And some people stay where they’re put, flat as paper, safe as death. But the Fates? They climbed. They found the cracks in the structure and made them into doorways. They took the attic and turned it into the control room for the entire cosmos.

The divine doesn’t live in the safe rooms. It lives in the wobble. In the three women who chose the highest, most unstable point and decided that’s where they’d do the most important work in the universe. In the refusal to be contained, to be flattened, to be assigned a proper place in someone else’s design. In the knowledge that destiny itself operates from a broken attic in a discarded dollhouse.

Nothing material lasts. Everything material matters. You can’t enclose the divine. But sometimes you can see exactly where it refuses to stay on the ground floor. Where it climbs to the attic, balances on broken beams, and spins the threads of every life that ever was or will be.

That’s the fragment. That’s what Euripides knew. The divine doesn’t need your walls or your stability or your safe rooms. It just needs three women brave enough to take the attic and make it the center of everything. Three Fates in a dollhouse, still working, still mattering, still divine in the ruins.

This piece, this moment, this dollhouse: I incorporated a text fragment from one of Euripides’ lost tragedies to an image of an abandoned dollhouse discovered on a sidewalk. Informally, the piece is called Enclose the Divine. This work is part of a larger project called IOTA that brings to life the remaining textual fragments of the lost plays of Aeschylus, Sophocles, and Euripides. Fragments speaking to fragments. Ruins honoring ruins. The discarded making the discarded sacred again.



This piece, this moment, this dollhouse: I incorporated a text fragment from one of Euripides’ lost tragedies to an image of an abandoned dollhouse discovered on a sidewalk. Informally, the piece is called Enclose the Divine. This work is part of a larger project called IOTA that brings to life the remaining textual fragments of the lost plays of Aeschylus, Sophocles, and Euripides. Fragments speaking to fragments. Ruins honoring ruins. The discarded making the discarded sacred again.

Eugène Ionesco (Cimetière du Montparnasse)

.

My work has been essentially a dialogue with death, asking him, “Why? Why?” So only death can silence me. Only death can close my lips.
Eugène Ionesco, The Paris Review interview, 1984

 

Playwright who looked at the world after World War II and decided the only honest response was absurdity.

Theatre of the Absurd. That’s what Martin Esslin called it, the critic who gave it a name, wrote the book that defined the movement. Esslin was also a professor. My professor, actually. Called me stupid because my dyslexia fucked up my spelling. Guy could identify genius in Ionesco’s work but couldn’t see past a misspelled word to what a student was actually saying. That’s academia for you.

The Bald Soprano, 1950. Characters having conversations that don’t mean anything, saying things that don’t connect, language breaking down into noise. People sitting in a theatre watching it, realizing that’s how we all talk, empty words, social niceties, bullshit filling the air.

Rhinoceros, 1959. Everyone in a small town slowly turns into rhinoceroses. Conformity as disease. Fascism as contagion. One guy refuses to transform, stays human while everyone around him becomes a beast. The play’s about Nazism, about communism, about any ideology that turns people into a herd.

The Chairs. An old couple on an island, setting up chairs for invisible guests who never come. Waiting for meaning that doesn’t arrive. Beckett without the poetry, more brutal, more funny in a way that makes you want to scream.

Critics hated him at first. Audiences walked out. Then suddenly everyone got it. The emptiness. The meaninglessness. Language failing completely. Post-war Europe understood… after the camps, after the ovens, after six million dead, after the systematic industrial murder of human beings, what the fuck are you supposed to say? What words exist? There’s nothing. No language for that. No way to make sense of it. Absurdity wasn’t a choice. It was the only honest response to a world that had just revealed itself to be completely, utterly insane.

Shot on infrared film in Cimetière du Montparnasse. Signed Limited Edition 11” x17” print of 10; stamped on verso. Professional black & white printing on Hahnemühle fibre-based Matt paper.

Charles Baudelaire (Cimetière du Montparnasse)

.

Bientôt nous plongerons dans les froides ténèbres;
Adieu, vive clarté de nos étés trop courts!

Soon we will plunge into the cold darkness;
Farewell, vivid brightness of our too-short summers!
Charles Baudelaire, “Chant d’Automne” (Song of Autumn)

 

Forty-six years. Most of them spent pissing off the French establishment and not giving a single fuck about it.

Les Fleurs du malThe Flowers of Evil. 1857. Poetry about sex, death, decay, the city, beauty found in rot and darkness. Not the romantic, sanitized bullshit everyone else was writing. Real. Ugly. Gorgeous.

The government prosecuted him. Obscenity. Six poems banned. They fined him. Didn’t matter. The book became legendary. He’d shown what poetry could do if you stopped pretending life was pretty.

He was the original flâneur, wandering Paris, observing, documenting. Wrote about prostitutes, lesbians, drug addiction, his own self-loathing. Nothing was off limits.

Art critic too. Championed Delacroix, Manet, modern art when no one else got it. He saw things before anyone else did.

Translated Edgar Allan Poe into French. Made Poe famous in Europe. Saw a kindred spirit in the darkness.

His personal life? A disaster. Syphilis. Opium. Hashish. Debt everywhere. Mistress Jeanne Duval, his “Black Venus”, on and off for years.

1866: stroke. Paralyzed, couldn’t speak. Took him a year to die. Awful way to go for someone whose weapon was words.

The poet who found beauty in sewers and sin. Who wrote about the shadow side of Paris when everyone else was writing odes to spring flowers. Died in 1867, broke, destroyed by his own appetites.

He understood something: beauty and decay are the same thing. We’re all rotting. Might as well write about it honestly.

Shot on infrared film in Cimetière du Montparnasse, Paris. Signed Limited Edition 11” x17” print of 10; stamped on verso. Professional black & white printing on Hahnemühle fibre-based Matt paper.

Charlie at the Gates of Hell

Father’s Day, 2022. Lindsey’s taken us to Stanford, which is either the most perfect thing she could have done or the cruelest, depending on how you look at it. This is the place where my father taught. Where I grew up. Where I went to school. Every corner of this campus is a ghost, a memory, a version of myself I barely recognize anymore.

And here’s Charlie. One year old. One. This tiny human who doesn’t know about any of that history, who doesn’t care that we’re standing in front of Rodin’s Gates of Hell, that monument to damnation and desire that’s been watching over this place since before I was born. He just knows there are steps. And steps, when you’re one, are the entire universe. They’re Everest. They’re possibility.

So he climbs.

And I’ve got Also Sprach Zarathustra playing in the background because apparently I’m that guy now, the one who soundtracks his kid’s toddler mountaineering with Strauss, with that opening that Stanley Kubrick made synonymous with evolution and cosmic revelation. Thus Spoke Zarathustra. The übermensch. The eternal return. All that Nietzschean grandiosity playing while my son hauls himself up stone steps one determined little fist at a time.

The absurdity is not lost on me.

Behind him, Rodin’s damned souls writhe in bronze, tumbling through Dante’s vision of eternal suffering. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. And in front of them, Charlie, who is pure hope, pure forward motion, completely unaware that he’s performing his own tiny drama about ascent and ambition right there at the threshold of hell.

This is what kills me about being a father: everything means too much now. It’s not just a kid climbing steps. It’s generations. It’s my father, who walked these paths. It’s me, who grew up here, who learned here, who became whatever I am in these shadows. And now it’s Charlie, who doesn’t know any of that yet, who’s just living in this perfect present tense where the only thing that matters is the next step.

My son. One year old. Climbing.

And Strauss swelling in the background like the universe is holding its breath.

Maybe it is.

.

The main thing is to be moved,
to love, to hope, to tremble, to live.
Be a man before being an artist!
Auguste Rodin

Rodin’s Gates of Hell
Stanford University

×